


And Now I Just Sit In Silence

by wearethefoxes



Series: the game is not played alone [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Awkward Encounters, Biphobia, Crushes, Dealing With Divorce, Derek Has Issues, Homophobia, M/M, Miscommunication, Music, Past Kate Argent/Derek Hale, Skipping Class, Texting, i'm sorry mr hale, you never did anything to deserve this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2015-07-08
Packaged: 2018-04-05 22:32:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4197468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wearethefoxes/pseuds/wearethefoxes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's just pulled his sketchbook and pencils out when he sees Stiles, power walking down the hall and glancing over his shoulder as he goes. Derek's mouth drops open as he turns into the library - he ducks his head when he passes Mrs Wilson, but she doesn't even give him a second look - and walks right to Derek, plopping down into the seat next to him. "Hi," he says, and Derek just keeps staring.</p><p>"Aren't you supposed to be in Chemistry?" Derek finally sputters, pulling his headphones out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And Now I Just Sit In Silence

**Author's Note:**

> Part three!! Sorry this took so much longer than I anticipated - I was working on my longer fic and then I kept on trying to write this one as something it wasn't so I had to figure that out first. 
> 
> A general warning: as it says in the tags, this chapter deals with some implied and referenced homophobia and biphobia. I don't use any slurs or anything and most of it happens offscreen, but I don't want it to catch anyone off guard. 
> 
> Feel free to point out any errors and enjoy!

Derek is sitting in study hall, headphones in and rereading _1984_ for his English exam today when his phone buzzes on the table. He glances up and pulls it to him, looking towards the librarian as he does. It's Mrs Wilson, who has a soft spot for him after all the time he spent here sophomore year, but not  _that_ much of a soft spot. She's occupied though, looking something up for an irritated-looking freshman standing on the other side of her desk, so Derek feels safe opening the text. It's from Stiles,  _what do you have this period?_

Now Derek is wary.

_< study hall._

_> in the library?_

_< yeah. _

_<...why?_

There isn't a reply, but now Derek is too distracted to go back to his book. He's just pulled his sketchbook and pencils out when he sees Stiles, power walking down the hall and glancing over his shoulder as he goes. Derek's mouth drops open as he turns into the library - he ducks his head when he passes Mrs Wilson, but she doesn't even give him a second look - and walks right to Derek, plopping down into the seat next to him. "Hi," he says, and Derek just keeps staring.

"Aren't you supposed to be in Chemistry?" Derek finally sputters, pulling his headphones out. He winces as the music continues blaring out, reaching for his iPod on the table, but Stiles grabs it faster.

"I'm curious about your music taste," he explains, pausing the music first before scrolling through, and Derek fidgets in his seat.  _He_ likes his music, but...he isn't very aware really of what's "in" or whatever, he just listens to what he likes. There's some terrible pop stuff that got downloaded accidentally from Cora (and some decent stuff from her too), and also a  _lot_ of angry guitar from the height of when he was with Kate, but he doesn't _remember_ anything terrible on his "music i actually listen to" playlist, which should be what's open.

Stiles makes a thoughtful hum, looking up at Derek briefly. "Dude, you've got some good stuff on here. Panic! At The Disco, which is...classic. Oh, and Fall Out Boy of course."

Derek doesn't really want to listen to an in-depth examination of his music taste, so he interrupts. "Stiles. What are you doing here?"

Stiles doesn't even look up, damn it. "I'm in Chem, but Mr Harris has it out for me, and I haven't hung out with you for a while." Derek's chest warms at that, his phone buzzing on the table. Laura's name lights up the screen, and she doesn't usually text in school or at least not in class if she can help it, so he reaches for it quickly, worried that something might have happened. "And Harris has only gotten worse since he found out I was bi. I'm not even sure how he found out, honestly. I came out  _last year_ and I wasn't in his class then."

> _derek. I just got an email from dad._

"It's whatever though. I mean, I always knew he was an asshole, now I know that he's the bi-phobic kind." 

> _what should I say?_

_> fuck, Derek. I'm freaking out. _

Stiles makes a pleasantly surprised noise. "Oh, damn, this is the real jackpot! Old school Paramore? Civil Twilight? Oh, Brand New! What's your favorite album?"

"The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me," Derek answers automatically, still staring, frozen, down at his phone. "Or Deja Entendu as a close second."

> _derek help me I don't know what to say._

"Fuck, that's the good stuff." In his peripheral vision, he sees Stiles look up, grinning. He sees, too, the way the grin fades when he takes in Derek, hunched over his phone, frozen and stone faced. "Derek?"

At the sound of his name Derek unfreezes, but just enough to text back,  _you say nothing. he doesn't deserve it._

"Did something happen? Is this about...oh, shit, did you not know I was bi?"

Derek looks up wildly at that. He has no idea how Stiles got that idea, but he knows he needs to reply quickly if he wants to clear it up. "No, it's not..." He doesn't know how to continue. Words have never really been his strong suit, and he feels like he's operating with half of his systems down at the moment.

Stiles face hardens. "Nah, it's whatever, man. Look, I have to get back to class now anyway if I don't wanna get caught."

"No, wait! I knew you were bi, I just..."

His phone buzzes again.

> _he's asking about you, you know._

The chair screeches as Stiles pushes to a standing. His posture is rigid. "I've got to go," Stiles says, and leaves before Derek can stop him, still trying to get his breath back.

 

It isn't until lunch, sitting with Laura in her car in total silence, that Derek realizes: Stiles walked away with his iPod.

 

When Derek opens the door, he's just gotten Jacob to stop crying for the first time in two hours, and therefore is totally unprepared to find Stiles standing on his front porch.

That's the excuse he's going with, anyway.

They kind of blink at each other for a moment. Jacob makes distressed fists in Derek's shirt, tucking his face in his neck, and that is what spurs Derek into asking, "What are you doing here?" It's a little blunt, but - today isn't his day.

Stiles blinks again, and then seems to shake himself, going from unresponsive to stiff movement in a second. Derek feels an uncomfortable tug in his stomach when he notices the guardedness of his face and the rigidity of his posture that hasn't gone away yet. "You forgot your iPod," Stiles says. Derek nods, his eyebrows rising in surprise. With how they left things, he was willing to wait until tomorrow to get it back. Normally he would have gotten it in English last period, the one class he has with Stiles, but he and Laura skipped it today, driving around until they had to go pick Cora up. 

"Ok," Derek says when Stiles makes no move to give it to him. "Where is it?" He just wants to get this over with. He's aware how shitty that is, and that it's his fault they're so damn awkward, but if he doesn't get Jacob in motion again soon he'll probably start crying again, and Derek can't handle that, not today. 

Stiles pats down his pockets, and then abruptly he stops. "You know what?" His jaw tightens. Derek's eyebrows get higher. "No. We're doing this, right now." And he pushes past Derek into the house, leaving Derek to follow in stunned silence. Stiles takes the hallway to the table-kitchen-living room area, and then he stops, whirling on Derek. "What  _was_ that today?" he asks, voice loud, and Jacob's breathing stutters in his ear.

"Stiles," Derek says in a low voice. He wants to pinch the bridge of his nose or something, possibly just move his open sketchbook from the table to someplace out of sight, but he's holding Jacob so it's not an option. "I know that you're angry, and you have right to be, but I just barely got him to stop crying, so if you could  _please_ not yell that'd be wonderful."

Stiles blinks again. "Fine," he says slowly, and then pulls out a chair. "If you don't want me to yell, then - fine. But that means  _you_ get to do the talking, because I've got some rather explosive things I want to say right now."

Derek nods, pacing steadily and slowly in front of the table to keep Jacob calm. "That's - fair." But he doesn't know where to start. He's absolutely too tired to get into everything about his dad, which is the real starting point of this conversation they apparently need to have, and he's not sure he's comfortable with it anyway. As much as he likes Stiles  -  _likes_ Stiles, even, though that's a juvenile and understated way of putting it - he's always been private.

Despite what he said, Stiles is the one to talk next. "So, who's this little guy anyway? And - where's everyone else?"

These, at least, are easy to answer. "This is my cousin, Jacob. He's - my mom is out to dinner with my aunt and uncle, so I'm watching him. Normally Cora and Laura would be here too, but they're out doing things of questionable legality."

Stiles stares for a moment. "Do they always do questionably legal things on Thursdays or is it just one of those days?"

Derek's mouth twists, too unhappy to be quite a smile. "One of those days." He hesitates, but he knows this is the best opening he's likely to get. "It's just - my dad. He, um, he emailed Laura today. Which. He doesn't normally do. Hasn't done, actually, maybe ever." He clears his throat, looking past Stiles into the living room. "At least, not since he, um. Left."

Things are quiet. Then, Stiles breathes, "Shit," and Derek nods and Jacob's breath hitches again, so he starts pacing with resumed vigor, patting his back.

"That's why I was so weird today," Derek explains, the words coming out too fast. "I knew you were bi, and I don't care - I mean, like it's not a  _thing_ or whatever the hell you thought."

Stiles raises an eyebrow mildly. Derek knows he's blushing, and he stares at the top of Jacob's head. His heart is beating too fast. "I mean. That I knew you were bi cause when you came out sophomore year, it was kind of a. Um. Like, a tipping point for me. Or whatever." He clears his throat again, his hands feeling clammy and shaking as they clutch Jacob so tight that he makes a little whimpering sound. He doesn't look at Stiles. "Um. That's how I was able to come out as gay. Cause you did."

Derek paces in cringing silence only for a moment before Stiles says, "I don't remember hearing about that."

Derek shrugs. "I didn't come out, like, school wide." He was too afraid to do that, after Kate. He still is. "I just figured. Like, if you could come out to the whole school, then I could at least come out to my family." 

Stiles gives a low whistle, and Derek finally dares to look at him. He's leaning forward, resting his forearms on his knees and watching as Derek paces back and forth. His face is mostly blank, or at least Derek can't read it. The way that he's leaning makes his shirt gape, exposing the line of his collarbones, and Derek stares a moment too long before he looks back to Stiles' face.

"Wow," Stiles says, and now he's smiling a little. Tentatively, Derek smiles back. "That's really fucking cool man, I'm not gonna lie. Like, it makes me feel good about myself. Strokes my ego a little."

Derek laughs. Jacob coos against his neck.

"When did you come out?" The guardedness is gone from Stiles' posture now; his voice contains only open curiosity. Still, this is - strange for Derek. The only person he speaks so openly about this with is Laura, and she's his twin and it's taken them a while to get there regardless. He's known Stiles for just under two months. It's a little surreal, but he's not uncomfortable with it, which might be the most surprising thing of all.

"Middle of sophomore year."

"Who all knows? I don't want to accidentally out you or something, that's so shitty."

 _Kate_ is who he thinks first, but he doesn't say that. "Laura knew first. My family knows, my mom and dad and Cora and my aunt and uncle and some cousins. Not this one, obviously," Stiles smiles a little at that. "Erica does too. Isaac might, though I didn't ever - I never like sat down and told him. Oh, and Ms Yang, too."

Stiles blinks. "Ms Yang...the art teacher?"

Derek flushes, shifting Jacob so he can rub at the back of his neck. "Um, yeah. She was like my only friend for a while in sophomore year, until Erica. Her and the librarians."

"Jesus," Stiles mutters, and Derek flushes deeper. He's aware that he was pathetic but - it happened. "And what about your dad? When did -? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, or like feel comfortable. Now I feel like I'm interrogating you."

Derek shakes his head. The thing is, he does want to. "Oh um, he just - he wasn't a bad dad, I guess. He just -" only listened to Derek when he made it so he couldn't ignore him, only validated his opinion when it was the same as his own. Derek swallows. "He fought with my mom a lot. They didn't - work. We all knew it, but - they tried to hang on for as long as possible, I guess."

"When?" Stiles presses, and Derek swallows. He's been avoiding this part, because it's so - incriminating, in light of everything else they've talked about it.

He almost can't get it out. When he does, he's not looking at Stiles and his voice is strange. "Middle of sophomore year."

Stiles sucks in a breath. He says, " _Jesus_ , Derek," and he sounds kind of wrecked, so Derek lets himself look. Stiles' eyes are soft and golden in the light coming in through the window, and his mouth is slightly parted.  _Obscene_ Derek thinks is the word for how his mouth is right now. He feels guilty holding a baby and looking at that mouth. Still, it's the eyes that get him, because they look and they - they  _see,_ and they understand him. "You know that doesn't make it your f-" _  
_

The garage door bangs open, and the moment shatters. Derek flinches and Stiles sits up properly and Jacob starts crying again, not full on wailing but startling at the noise. "Jacob, sweetheart!" His aunt Olivia says, coming in first through the door and swooping him up. The baby is giggling again in moment, happy in his mother's arms, and Olivia smiles at him as though it's somehow his doing. She's breezing into the living room in the next moment, the same whirlwind she's always been.

Talia and Peter are slower to come in the door. They take long enough that Stiles can send him wide eyes and he can begin to panic before they pause on their way in through the kitchen, their quiet, tense muttering stopping the moment they lay eyes on Stiles and Derek. 

"Nephew!" Peter says, after sharing a look with Talia, and he comes in, grabs Derek's head in both hands, and kisses him obnoxiously on both cheeks. "And friend!" He shakes Stiles hand vigorously - Stiles, who looks kind of dumbstruck - and then ghosts into the other room after his wife, leaving Derek, Stiles, and Talia in tense silence.

"Derek," Talia finally says, her voice quiet, "aren't you going to introduce you to your friend?"

Derek starts. "Um," he says intelligently.

Stiles jumps up before Derek can embarrass himself too badly, holding his hand out across the countertop island for Talia to shake. "Stiles Stilinski, nice to meet you Mrs Hale. I'm Derek and Laura's friend."

Talia arches an impeccable eyebrow before taking his hand. "Pleased to meet you." She directs her gaze, blank and kind of cold, on Derek next, and he can't hide his flinch. A flash of hurt goes across her face when he does so, but she just asks, "Your sisters?"

He shrugs. "I'm not their keeper." At Talia's unimpressed look, he hurries to add, "but I'll text Laura."

She nods, laying a hand briefly on his arm as she glides into the living room, and then she is gone.

Derek releases a huge breath, kind of collapsing into Stiles' recently vacated chair. "Jesus," Derek mutters, rubbing a hand over his face. His skin smells like baby.

"What the fuck," Stiles says slowly, "was  _that?"_

Derek flinches again. "Sorry. I should have -" warned you that we're a mess, never let you come inside in the first place, known me and my mess would become too much. "I'm sorry," he says again, smaller. 

Immediately, Stiles softens, his shoulders smoothing out and his voice going quieter. "Hey, no, it's fine. Just. Like,  _what_?" 

Derek laughs kind of helplessly. "Welcome to my family." He's staring at his hands, hanging between his knees. After a moment, he adds, "That was my mom, Talia Hale. And her brother, my uncle, Peter Hale, and his wife Olivia."

"Hale?" Stiles asks.

"Yeah, my dad took my mom's last name when they married, since she was already a doctor."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Stiles fidgets, and Derek stares at his hands. When he realizes it's been too long in silence, he takes a bracing breath and stands, finally closing his sketchbook on the table. "I won't keep you any longer," he says to Stiles, forcing himself to meet his eyes. He mostly just wants to wrap himself entirely around Stiles, or be wrapped around until it's easy to breathe again, but he tries not to make it weirder than it already is. "And I'm sorry, again, for all of this."

Stiles laughs, easy and carefree, like it doesn't cost him anything. "I'm telling you man, it's fine. I'll see you tomorrow, right?"

Derek smiles tiredly, nodding. "I'll walk you to the door."

They part kind of awkwardly at the door, but Stiles is still grinning sunnily as he climbs in his jeep, waving as he goes.

Derek means to go back into the kitchen just for his sketchbook, but his mom calls him into the living room. "Who was that?" she asks, clutching a glass of wine to her chest. Peter has an arm around her shoulders, and Olivia is cuddling into his chest and cooing to Jacob.

"My friend," Derek says flatly, "Stiles Stilinski."

"Tone, nephew," Peter admonishes mildly, not looking up from where he's watching Olivia and their baby interact.

Derek slumps. "He's - Stiles, I don't know. I go to school with him."

Talia's eyebrows rise. She takes a slow sip of her wine, and Derek fidgets uncomfortably under her gaze. "I've never heard you mention him before."

Well, he hasn't talked honestly with her about his friends since the beginning of freshman year. As far as she knows, he's still best friends with Isaac. He shrugs. "It's a new thing."

Talia's eyes narrow. She drinks her wine and watches him and doesn't speak. Peter is rubbing small circles on her shoulder with his thumb that Derek watches as he gets increasingly uncomfortable, feeling scrutinized.

"Can I go now?" Derek finally asks, gesturing generally towards the stairs with the hand holding his sketchbook.

"I suppose," Talia says. "Make sure your sisters get back soon."

Derek nods and ducks upstairs, Olivia yelling after him, "Love you, Der-Bear! Thanks for watching Jacob!" and he makes an agreeable noise in her general direction before he closes his door behind him.

He pulls out his phone once he's sitting on his bed, and he's in the middle of composing a message to Laura to make sure she can drive all right tonight and that she knows mom wants her back soon when his phone beeps and tells him Stiles has texted him.

> _god fucking dammit derek i still didn't give you your ipod back_

Derek smothers his laugh in his pillow before replying.

_< guess you'll just have to make sure to talk to me tomorrow _

He has a momentary panic once he presses send that he's gone too far, but Stiles response makes warmth spread in his chest, feeling impossibly fond.

_> i think i can live with that :)_

_< see you tomorrow stiles_

_> see ya derek :)_

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I love this chapter so much, it's just so terribly awkward and I love it. Also Peter is a delight when I can make him the weird uncle instead of the homocidal murder uncle.
> 
> As far as Derek's music taste goes, Panic! and Brand New are the only ones on _my_ regular rotation, all though I like the other three as well. My favorite Brand New albums are Derek's, just switched around. 
> 
> Title from Car Radio by Twent One Pilots.  
> The next few parts will be getting more intense and I'm excited for that! Back stories will be revealed and shit, it's gonna be fun :D
> 
> Comments mean the world to me!
> 
> Come talk to me on [tumblr!](http://allyaisbae.tumblr.com)


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